Kitchen Hooligan

A Hooligan in the Kitchen

Fire in the Hole!

November 25th, 2010 by Hooligan

Tonight was technically only the second time in my life that I’ve unintentionally set a kitchen on fire.

The first time was when I was about 14, and my (then) 5 year old brother and I were trying to work out “French Toast and Bacon” on our own. There was a mishap with a dishtowel. I won’t get into it here…

So, in the interest of imparting some hard-earned (and smoky) knowledge, allow me to fill you in on something I learned tonight. The next time you’re making a quick-bread (tonight it was pumpkin-bread) and you find that you have a little extra batter after you’ve filled your loaf pan to the appropriate level, at no point should you think to yourself, “Self, being the frugal individual that I am, I can’t just throw out this extra batter, but it’s not nearly enough to bake all on its own. HEY! I know! I’ll just add it to THIS loaf pan and end up with one slightly taller loaf!”

No. There’s a reason you don’t overfill your pan, and that reason is fire.

When that sucker starts to rise, that precious extra bit of batter is going to end up overflowing onto your oven’s heating element. That’s when the fun starts!

It went a little something like this:

“Mmm… sure does smell good in here. It smells all pumpkin bready… with a hint of… smoky barbecue? The hell? I’d better go investigate. Hey, neato! That’s actual FIRE right there in my oven!”

Unfortunately, there was no one on hand to pass me a marshmallow on a stick. Now THAT would have been a party!

In closing: That yummy extra batter? Throw that shit out. It’s extra dangerous.



3 Responses

  1. cabri

    Have fun cleaning out that oven! :D

  2. RMMC

    Glad you’re okay & the house is still standing. :)

  3. nypinta

    So… all the other kitchen fires were intentional? ;)